I can provide some general perspectives on this matter.
Feelings of relief or mixed emotions after the passing of someone with whom you had a challenging or difficult relationship are not uncommon. Human emotions are complex, and it's natural for individuals to have a wide range of feelings in response to significant life events, including the death of a former spouse.
It's important to recognize that feelings are a normal part of the human experience and do not necessarily equate to sinfulness. Many people experience relief, closure, or a sense of release after the death of a person with whom they had a tumultuous relationship. This may be due to the cessation of ongoing conflict, emotional pain, or other challenging dynamics.
However, if you are concerned about your feelings or experiencing guilt over them, it might be helpful to discuss your emotions with a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional. They can provide a supportive and non-judgmental space to explore your feelings and help you process the complex emotions that arise during such times.
Additionally, if you have specific religious beliefs, you may find comfort in seeking guidance from your religious or spiritual community. They can offer insights from the perspective of your faith and help you understand and cope with your feelings in a way that aligns with your beliefs and values.
Remember that everyone's experience is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all response to complex emotions. It's essential to be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time and space to grieve and process your emotions in a healthy and supportive manner.