Feeling intense guilt as an adult can stem from various causes, and it's a relatively common human experience. Some of the potential causes of intense guilt include:
Past Actions or Choices: Guilt often arises from regrettable past actions or decisions that have had negative consequences for oneself or others. These could be related to personal relationships, work, or other areas of life.
Harming Others: Guilt can result from causing harm, either intentionally or unintentionally, to someone else. This harm can be physical, emotional, or even just through hurtful words or actions.
Breaking Moral or Ethical Standards: When a person violates their own moral or ethical values, it can lead to a strong sense of guilt. This could involve lying, cheating, or betraying trust, among other things.
Failure to Meet Expectations: Guilt may arise when an individual feels they have let down themselves or others by not living up to expectations, whether their own or those imposed by society or loved ones.
Survivor's Guilt: This form of guilt often occurs when someone feels remorseful for surviving a traumatic event or tragedy when others did not. It is commonly seen in situations like accidents, natural disasters, or combat.
Parental Guilt: Parents may experience guilt if they believe they haven't been able to provide enough for their children or have made mistakes in their parenting.
Unresolved Conflicts or Grudges: Guilt can persist when individuals carry unresolved conflicts or hold grudges against others.
Self-Criticism and Perfectionism: People who are overly self-critical or have perfectionistic tendencies may feel guilt even when they haven't done anything wrong but feel they haven't done "enough."
Cultural or Religious Factors: Guilt can also be influenced by cultural or religious beliefs that emphasize certain moral standards and impose guilt when these standards are not met.
The association of guilt with sadness and tears is entirely normal. Guilt often comes with an emotional weight that can manifest as sadness, remorse, or even depression. Crying can be a natural way for some individuals to release pent-up emotions and find emotional relief.
While experiencing guilt is a common human emotion, excessive and persistent guilt that interferes with daily life and well-being might be a sign of a deeper issue and could benefit from professional support. Talking to a therapist or counselor can be helpful in understanding and addressing intense guilt in a healthy way. They can provide coping strategies, offer perspective, and guide individuals towards self-forgiveness and personal growth.