I can offer some general guidance that may be helpful for someone facing similar feelings and struggles.
Self-Reflection and Acceptance: It's essential to engage in self-reflection and try to understand your feelings and emotions better. Acknowledge that it's normal to feel insecure or jealous in certain situations, but also recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others might not be productive.
Seek Support: Consider reaching out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to share your feelings. Connecting with others who have experienced similar struggles can be beneficial and make you feel less alone.
Professional Counseling: If you find that these feelings are causing significant distress, consider seeking guidance from a professional counselor or therapist who can help you explore your emotions and provide coping strategies.
Embrace Your Identity: Embracing and accepting your sexual orientation is an important part of self-discovery and personal growth. Being true to yourself is essential for leading a fulfilling life.
Reconciling Faith and Identity: If you find that your Christian beliefs are creating conflicts with your feelings or identity, it might be helpful to explore different interpretations of religious texts and teachings. Many progressive Christian denominations and theologians affirm LGBTQ+ individuals and their relationships.
Remember That Everyone's Journey Is Different: It's important to remember that everyone's life journey is unique. Comparing your situation to others' may not be helpful, as they may have faced different challenges and struggles.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate these feelings and experiences. It's okay to have a range of emotions, and growth often comes with ups and downs.
Focus on Personal Growth: Invest time in personal development and building a strong sense of self. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, which can help improve your overall well-being.
Ultimately, it's crucial to find a path that aligns with your values and brings you peace and contentment. Remember that seeking support, whether from friends, family, or professionals, can be instrumental in your journey of self-discovery and acceptance.