Distinguishing between being in love with someone and simply wanting them because they make you feel good about yourself can be challenging, as the emotions involved can be complex and overlapping. However, here are some key factors that can help you differentiate between the two:
Emotional Depth: Love involves a deep emotional connection and attachment to the other person. It goes beyond just feeling good about yourself when you are with them. Love often includes feelings of care, empathy, and a desire to support the other person's well-being, even if it means sacrificing your own needs.
Long-Term Perspective: Love typically involves a long-term commitment to the person. It's not just about seeking temporary validation or validation of self-worth. You envision a future together and are willing to invest time and effort into building a meaningful relationship.
Acceptance of Imperfections: When you are in love with someone, you accept them for who they are, including their flaws and imperfections. It's not just about how they make you feel good; it's about embracing their entire being and seeing them as a whole person.
Empathy and Support: Love involves genuine empathy and support for the other person's feelings and experiences. It's not just about how they make you feel, but also about understanding their emotions and being there for them in both good and challenging times.
Mutual Respect and Equality: Love is built on mutual respect and recognizing the other person as an equal partner in the relationship. It's not about using them as a means to boost your self-esteem; it's about valuing their thoughts, feelings, and autonomy.
Selflessness vs. Selfishness: In love, there is an element of selflessness where you prioritize the well-being of the other person, even if it means putting their needs ahead of your own. Conversely, if you are mainly interested in someone because they make you feel good about yourself, it might be more self-centered and driven by your own desires.
Deeper Connection: Love involves a profound emotional, intellectual, and often spiritual connection with the other person. It's not just about seeking external validation or using them to fill an emotional void.
Willingness to Overcome Challenges: Love is resilient and willing to work through challenges and conflicts that may arise in the relationship. It's not just about seeking pleasure or validation; it's about navigating life's ups and downs together.
It's essential to take time to reflect on your feelings and motivations. Honest self-assessment and open communication with the other person can help you better understand the nature of your emotions and the dynamics of the relationship. If you find that you're unsure about your feelings or intentions, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can help you explore your emotions and relationships in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.