When someone tells you "don't be so sensitive" in response to your feelings being hurt, it can feel dismissive and invalidating. Here are some effective ways to respond to such a situation:
Express your feelings calmly: Start by acknowledging what they said, and then express how it made you feel. For example, you could say, "I understand you may not have meant to hurt me, but what you said really hurt my feelings."
Use "I" statements: Frame your response using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. This can help the other person see your perspective without feeling attacked. For instance, say, "I feel hurt when comments like that are made."
Set boundaries: Let them know that it's important to you to be treated with respect and that you won't tolerate insensitive comments. For example, "I'd appreciate it if we could avoid making remarks that are hurtful."
Explain the impact: Help them understand the consequences of their words. You can say, "Comments like that can make me feel self-conscious and affect my self-esteem."
Ask for empathy: Request understanding from the person, so they can put themselves in your shoes and see how their words might affect others. For instance, "I would like you to try and understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of such comments."
Educate about sensitivity: Some people may not fully grasp the impact of their words. Explain that everyone experiences emotions differently and that it's okay to be sensitive.
Share your needs: Communicate what you need from them moving forward. It could be as simple as asking for more thoughtfulness in their communication. For example, "I'd appreciate it if we could be mindful of each other's feelings when we talk."
Stay composed: Responding calmly and maturely can help keep the conversation productive. Avoid escalating the situation with anger or defensiveness.
Seek support: If the person continues to be dismissive, consider talking to someone you trust about your feelings. Sometimes having a supportive friend or family member can help you process emotions and gain perspective.
Remember, it's essential to advocate for your emotional well-being and to express your feelings constructively. If the other person is unwilling to understand or respect your feelings, it may be necessary to reevaluate the dynamics of the relationship and consider setting healthier boundaries.