Yes, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" is generally considered a better apology than "I'm sorry you feel that way." The reason lies in the difference in the wording and the underlying sentiment conveyed by each statement.
"I'm sorry you feel that way" is a non-apology or a pseudo-apology. It does not take responsibility for the actions or words that led to the other person's feelings. Instead, it implies that the person's feelings are their own problem, and it can come across as dismissive or insincere.
On the other hand, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" acknowledges personal responsibility for causing the emotions or hurt. By using this phrase, you are showing empathy and understanding towards the other person's feelings. It demonstrates that you recognize your role in the situation and genuinely regret the impact your actions or words had on them.
An effective apology should include:
Acknowledgment of responsibility: Recognize and admit your part in the situation, taking ownership of your actions or words.
Expression of regret: Show genuine remorse for causing the other person's pain or hurt.
Empathy and understanding: Demonstrate that you understand the impact of your actions on the other person's feelings.
Commitment to change: If appropriate, express your intention to learn from the situation and avoid making the same mistake in the future.
Putting all these elements together, a more sincere and effective apology would be something like: "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't realize the impact of my words/actions, and I genuinely regret hurting you. I will try to be more mindful of how my behavior affects you in the future."
Remember, a sincere apology is an essential part of resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships. It shows respect for the other person's feelings and demonstrates your willingness to repair any damage caused by your actions.