It's important to remember that everyone processes emotions differently, and there is no one "correct" way to grieve or react to a friend's funeral. People have unique coping mechanisms and emotional responses based on their personalities, life experiences, and cultural backgrounds.
Not crying at a funeral does not necessarily mean you lack empathy. Some individuals might express their emotions more privately or in different ways. It's possible that you were trying to prepare yourself emotionally for the funeral, or you might have been holding back tears due to feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Also, it's worth noting that some people may experience delayed grief, and emotions might emerge later on.
As for crying due to feelings of failure, it's essential to recognize that experiencing emotions in response to perceived failure is a common human experience. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Many people have moments of self-doubt and struggle with feelings of worthlessness when facing challenges or setbacks.
However, if these feelings of worthlessness persist and significantly impact your daily life, self-esteem, or relationships, it might be helpful to talk to a mental health professional. They can provide support and guidance to help you navigate through these emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Remember, seeking help from a therapist or counselor is a sign of strength, not weakness. They can help you understand and manage your emotions better and work towards a more positive and resilient mindset.
Lastly, it's essential to communicate with your mother about how her words made you feel. Open and honest communication can help build understanding and strengthen your relationship. Let her know that everyone processes emotions differently, and you are coping with things in your own way.