Feeling like your trauma is not valid is not uncommon, and it can be influenced by various factors. It's essential to recognize that trauma is not a competition, and there is no hierarchy of suffering. Each person's experiences and feelings are valid, regardless of how they compare to others.
Several reasons might contribute to feeling like your trauma is not valid:
Minimization or invalidation by others: If people around you have downplayed or dismissed your experiences, you might internalize their reactions and start questioning the legitimacy of your trauma.
Social comparisons: In a world where people often share their experiences openly, it's easy to compare your trauma to others'. However, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt about the impact of your own experiences.
High resilience: As mentioned earlier, some individuals have higher levels of resilience and coping skills, which can make it seem like their trauma is less severe. However, it's essential to remember that resilience does not negate the existence or impact of traumatic experiences.
Fear of judgment: Sometimes, people might fear judgment or being seen as weak if they express their trauma, leading them to downplay their experiences.
Complex emotions: Trauma can evoke complex and conflicting emotions. You might feel guilty for acknowledging your trauma when others have experienced more severe events, leading to feelings of self-doubt.
Emotional numbness or dissociation: In some cases, trauma survivors might experience emotional numbness or dissociation as a way to protect themselves from overwhelming emotions. This can lead to feelings of detachment from their own experiences.
It's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid, regardless of how "bad" or "severe" your trauma may seem in comparison to others. The impact of trauma is subjective and personal. What is important is how it has affected you and your life.
If you find yourself struggling with feelings of invalidation or wishing for worse experiences, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can help you explore these emotions, provide validation, and offer tools to cope with any distress you may be experiencing. Remember, healing is a unique journey, and it's okay to seek help and support along the way.