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Dealing with the feelings of being deceived, used, or taken for granted in a relationship can be incredibly painful and challenging. It's essential to remember that you are not responsible for someone else's choices or actions. The responsibility for the affair lies with your partner, not with you.

Here are some steps you can take to help yourself heal and move forward:

  1. Allow yourself to grieve: Acknowledge your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and sadness. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself.

  2. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings and experiences. Talking to others who have been through similar situations can be comforting and validating.

  3. Consider therapy or counseling: Professional therapy can be immensely beneficial in helping you process your emotions, gain insights into the relationship dynamics, and develop coping strategies.

  4. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-blame. Remember that everyone makes mistakes in relationships, and it's a learning experience for growth.

  5. Set boundaries: If you are still in contact with your partner, establish clear boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. Limit communication if necessary and take time apart to heal.

  6. Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and promote your well-being. Exercise, hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or practicing mindfulness can help alleviate stress and improve your mood.

  7. Challenge negative thoughts: Replace self-doubt and negative thoughts with positive affirmations and realistic perspectives about yourself and the situation.

  8. Avoid comparisons: Remind yourself that each relationship is unique, and someone else's choices do not define your worth or value as a person.

  9. Reflect on lessons learned: As painful as it may be, try to identify any lessons or insights you can take from this experience to grow personally and in future relationships.

  10. Forgive yourself and your partner: Forgiveness is a process that can take time. It doesn't mean condoning the actions, but it can help release the emotional burden and allow you to move forward.

Remember, healing from the aftermath of infidelity takes time and effort. It's normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions, but with support and self-compassion, you can gradually rebuild your life and find happiness again.

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