Experiencing a recent trauma, especially if it's on top of unresolved childhood trauma, can be incredibly overwhelming for the mind and emotions. The emotional numbing or disconnection you're describing is a common response to trauma and can serve as a coping mechanism to protect yourself from overwhelming feelings. This response is often referred to as dissociation.
The fact that you can talk about your traumas with zero emotion when working with your psychologist may be an indicator of how deeply you've learned to suppress emotions related to these experiences. On one hand, this ability to discuss traumatic events with a sense of detachment can be seen as a protective mechanism that allows you to talk about the events without getting overwhelmed by emotions.
However, emotional numbing can also have negative effects in the long term. Suppressing emotions can prevent the natural healing process and may hinder your ability to process and integrate these traumatic experiences fully. It's essential to remember that emotional healing involves not only understanding and talking about the events but also feeling and expressing the emotions connected to them.
Working with a psychologist is a positive step towards healing, as they can help you navigate through the complex emotions and provide guidance on how to process trauma in a safe and supportive environment. Here are some things to consider moving forward:
Self-compassion: Be patient and gentle with yourself. Understand that emotional healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to take your time.
Express emotions in a safe environment: If you feel comfortable and safe, try to allow yourself to feel and express your emotions when you are ready. This might be in your therapy sessions or through journaling or other creative outlets.
Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to become more aware of your emotions and bodily sensations. This can help you reconnect with your feelings and body.
Discuss emotional numbing with your psychologist: Openly discuss your emotional experience (or lack thereof) with your psychologist. They can tailor their approach to better suit your needs and help you address the emotional numbness.
Consider EMDR or other trauma-focused therapies: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy designed to help process traumatic memories and emotions. Your psychologist can guide you on whether this might be suitable for you.
Remember that everyone's healing process is unique. Your ability to talk about trauma without immediate emotional reactions is just one aspect of your journey. Trust the process and the guidance of your psychologist, and allow yourself to move through the healing process at your own pace.