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Deciding whether to continue with your current therapist or find a new one can be a challenging decision. It's essential to pay attention to your feelings and experiences in therapy to determine if the therapeutic alliance is failing or if you are being triggered by certain issues. Here are some factors to consider:

  1. Trust and Comfort: A strong therapeutic alliance is built on trust and a sense of safety. Consider whether you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and emotions with your therapist. If you don't feel supported or understood, it may be a sign that the therapeutic alliance is not working.

  2. Communication and Listening: Your therapist should actively listen to you and respond in a way that shows empathy and understanding. If you feel unheard or dismissed, it could be a sign that the therapeutic alliance is weakening.

  3. Goal Alignment: Assess whether you and your therapist are on the same page regarding your therapy goals. If you find that your therapist isn't helping you work towards your objectives or seems disinterested in your progress, it may be worth reevaluating the therapeutic alliance.

  4. Emotional Reactions: Take note of your emotional reactions during and after therapy sessions. Feeling overly distressed, upset, or invalidated may indicate that certain issues are being triggered, or the therapeutic relationship is not meeting your needs.

  5. Consistency and Reliability: A reliable therapist will maintain consistent boundaries and show up for scheduled appointments. Frequent cancellations or lack of punctuality may negatively impact the therapeutic alliance.

  6. Professional Competence: Evaluate whether your therapist has experience and expertise in dealing with the specific issues you are facing. A lack of knowledge or competence in addressing your concerns can hinder progress in therapy.

  7. Feeling Stuck: If you feel stuck in therapy, unable to make progress or explore deeper issues, it may be a sign that the therapeutic alliance needs to be reassessed.

  8. Discuss Your Concerns: If you're unsure whether the issue lies within the therapeutic alliance or if you're being triggered, consider discussing your concerns openly with your therapist. A good therapist will be open to addressing your feelings and working towards finding a resolution.

  9. Seek Second Opinions: If you're uncertain about your decision, consider seeking a second opinion from another mental health professional to gain a different perspective on your situation.

Ultimately, there's no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, and it's essential to trust your instincts. If you find that you've given it time, communicated your concerns, and still feel that the therapeutic alliance is not working, it might be beneficial to explore other therapy options. Remember that finding the right therapist can significantly impact the effectiveness of your therapy and your overall well-being.

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