When a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) does not answer your call, text, or any other form of communication, it could be related to their emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, and difficulties with interpersonal relationships. However, it's important to remember that individual experiences can vary widely, and not all people with BPD will respond in the same way.
Here are some reasons why a person with BPD might not respond to your communication and may be upset about something you did:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have an intense fear of abandonment. They might worry that you are upset with them or will reject them, leading them to avoid communication as a way to protect themselves from potential emotional pain.
Emotional Dysregulation: Individuals with BPD can experience intense and rapidly shifting emotions. If they are feeling overwhelmed or upset, they may struggle to respond to communication in a constructive manner. They might need some time to calm down and collect their thoughts before engaging in a conversation.
Misinterpretation of Intentions: Due to their sensitivity to perceived rejection, individuals with BPD might misinterpret neutral or benign communication as criticism or disapproval. This misinterpretation can lead them to withdraw from communication to avoid further perceived rejection.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism common in BPD where individuals see things as all good or all bad. If they feel hurt or upset by something you did, they may temporarily see you as all bad and choose to avoid contact.
Self-Destructive Behavior: Some people with BPD engage in self-destructive behaviors, including self-isolation, as a way to cope with emotional pain or regulate their emotions.
Sense of Unworthiness: Feelings of low self-worth and inadequacy are common in BPD. If they believe they don't deserve attention or care, they may avoid communication as a form of self-punishment.
Testing Relationships: Some individuals with BPD may unconsciously test the strength of their relationships by withdrawing or avoiding communication. They might want to see if you'll pursue them or if you'll abandon them.
It's important to approach communication with individuals with BPD with empathy, patience, and clear boundaries. If you suspect that they may be upset about something, it might be helpful to express your concern gently and non-judgmentally, allowing them to share their feelings when they are ready. However, it's essential to respect their need for space and not push them into responding if they are not ready.
Supporting someone with BPD can be challenging, and it's advisable to encourage them to seek professional help from a mental health provider who specializes in BPD and can provide appropriate treatment and support.