It's concerning that your boyfriend behaves differently when you're happy compared to when you have conflicts. It's important to be in a healthy and respectful relationship where both partners care about each other's feelings, even during disagreements. If your boyfriend is mean and dismissive of your emotions during fights, here are some steps to consider:
Communicate your feelings: Try to have a calm and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his behavior during fights makes you feel. Express your concerns and let him know that you expect mutual respect and understanding, even when disagreements occur.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for what behavior is acceptable during conflicts. Let him know that hurtful or disrespectful words are not tolerable, and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if they are crossed.
Seek couples counseling: If the issues persist and communication alone doesn't lead to positive changes, consider couples counseling. A professional therapist can help both of you address underlying issues and improve communication skills, promoting a healthier relationship.
Reflect on the relationship: Take some time to assess the overall dynamic of your relationship. Evaluate whether the positive aspects of your relationship outweigh the negative ones. It's essential to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and supported.
Prioritize your well-being: Your emotional well-being should be a top priority. If the relationship consistently leaves you feeling hurt, disrespected, or unhappy, it might be necessary to consider whether it's a healthy and sustainable relationship for you.
Talk to a trusted friend or family member: Seek support from someone you trust and who cares about your well-being. Sometimes an outside perspective can offer valuable insights.
Trust your instincts: If you have a persistent feeling that something is not right in the relationship, trust your instincts. Don't ignore your feelings or make excuses for behaviors that hurt you.
Remember that relationships require effort and compromise from both partners. It's crucial to be with someone who treats you with kindness, empathy, and respect, even in difficult times. If your boyfriend is unwilling to change hurtful behaviors and show care for your feelings, you may need to consider whether this relationship is healthy and fulfilling for you in the long run. Putting your well-being first is essential for a happy and balanced life.