Feeling ashamed after oversharing is a common experience that many people go through. Several psychological and social factors can contribute to this emotional response:
Social Norms: In many cultures, there are certain boundaries and expectations regarding what is appropriate to share with others. Oversharing might violate these norms, leading to feelings of embarrassment or shame.
Fear of Judgment: When we overshare personal information, we might fear being judged or misunderstood by others. The fear of negative evaluations can trigger feelings of shame.
Vulnerability Hangover: After opening up and sharing intimate details, some people experience what Brené Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover." It's a feeling of regret and self-consciousness that arises after being emotionally exposed.
Perceived Weakness: In some cases, oversharing can be seen as a sign of weakness or lack of emotional control, leading to feelings of shame about not being able to maintain emotional composure.
Loss of Control: Sharing too much can leave you feeling like you've lost control over your narrative or how others perceive you. This loss of control can lead to shame, as you may worry about how others will use or interpret the information.
Self-Doubt: Oversharing might make you question yourself and your judgment, especially if you later regret what you shared. This self-doubt can trigger feelings of shame.
Boundaries and Trust: Sharing personal information requires trust in the person or group you are sharing with. If that trust is breached or if you feel you've shared too much with the wrong people, it can lead to shame.
To cope with these feelings of shame after oversharing:
Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay to have moments of oversharing. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding.
Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about your feelings. Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can help alleviate shame and provide perspective.
Set Boundaries: Learn from the experience and set boundaries for what you feel comfortable sharing with others in the future.
Learn from the Experience: Use this as an opportunity for personal growth and reflection. Understand why you might have overshared and what you can do differently in the future.
Take a Break from Social Media: If oversharing on social media platforms is causing you distress, consider taking a break from sharing personal details online.
Focus on Positives: Shift your focus to your positive qualities and experiences rather than dwelling on the oversharing incident.
Remember that everyone has moments of vulnerability and may overshare at times. It's part of being human. By being mindful of your boundaries and learning from the experience, you can develop healthier communication habits and reduce the likelihood of feeling ashamed in the future.