I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you've endured growing up. Healing from such a challenging past can be a process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Here are some steps you can consider taking to begin the healing journey:
Seek professional help: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor experienced in trauma and emotional abuse. A mental health professional can provide you with the support and guidance needed to work through the effects of narcissistic abuse, abandonment, and other challenges you faced in your past.
Set boundaries: It's crucial to establish healthy boundaries with toxic or abusive individuals, including your narcissistic mother, if you're still in contact with her. Limiting or cutting off contact might be necessary to protect your emotional well-being.
Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out and build connections with people who are understanding, empathetic, and supportive. Healthy relationships can be instrumental in your healing process.
Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that the abuse and difficulties you faced were not your fault. Avoid self-blame and learn to forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings or mistakes.
Engage in self-care: Take time to focus on your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's hobbies, exercise, or spending time in nature.
Journaling or creative expression: Writing about your feelings and experiences or expressing yourself through art, music, or other creative outlets can be therapeutic.
Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder and the effects of emotional abuse. Understanding the dynamics of these experiences can help you make sense of your past and work towards healing.
Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and grounding exercises can help you stay present and cope with anxiety or stress.
Focus on personal growth: Set small, achievable goals for yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Building a sense of accomplishment can be empowering.
Volunteer or help others: Sometimes, helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Consider volunteering for a cause that resonates with you.
Remember that healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. Don't hesitate to ask for help and support when needed. It's brave to confront past trauma and work towards a healthier and happier future.