I'm really sorry to hear that you've experienced such pain and trauma due to the mental abuse from your parents. It's completely understandable to feel a range of emotions, including anger and a desire for revenge. However, it's important to remember that seeking revenge or hurting others will not bring healing or closure to your own wounds. Instead, it may perpetuate a cycle of harm and lead to further negative consequences.
Here are some steps to help you cope with these intense emotions and work towards healing:
Seek professional help: Consider speaking with a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional who can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your feelings, trauma, and coping mechanisms. They can offer guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you develop healthier ways of dealing with your emotions.
Practice self-compassion: Acknowledge that what you've been through is not your fault, and be kind to yourself. Healing from emotional abuse takes time, and it's okay to have a mix of emotions. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in need.
Find healthy outlets for emotions: Engage in activities that help you release built-up emotions in a constructive way. This might include journaling, exercise, art, or meditation. Finding positive ways to express yourself can be therapeutic and can prevent you from acting on negative impulses.
Surround yourself with support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer understanding and validation. Sharing your feelings with those you trust can provide a sense of relief and comfort.
Set boundaries: If possible, establish healthy boundaries with your parents to protect yourself from further harm. This might involve limiting contact or setting clear expectations for your interactions.
Forgive for yourself, not for them: Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing, but it's essential to understand that forgiveness doesn't mean condoning their actions or letting them off the hook. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. It might be a challenging journey, but it can lead to inner peace and liberation.
Focus on personal growth: Invest in your well-being and personal development. Pursue activities and goals that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. Building a fulfilling life for yourself can help you shift your focus away from negative thoughts and feelings.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present and manage overwhelming emotions. Consider mindfulness meditation or other mindfulness exercises to ground yourself in the present moment.
Remember that healing from emotional abuse is a gradual process, and it's okay to seek professional help if you find it difficult to cope with these feelings on your own. Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or mental health professionals who can assist you on your journey towards healing and finding peace.