It's not uncommon for abusive individuals to exhibit sudden changes in behavior, including trying to act nice or remorseful. There could be several reasons why your abusive father is behaving this way:
Manipulation and Control: Abusers often use periods of kindness or remorse as a tactic to manipulate and control their victims. By acting nice, they may try to keep you engaged, undermine your feelings of anger or fear, and prevent you from distancing yourself or seeking help.
Fear of Consequences: Your father may be aware of the potential consequences of his abusive behavior, such as legal actions, damaged relationships, or loss of control. To avoid these consequences, he might attempt to appear nice to avoid further scrutiny or intervention.
Cycles of Abuse: Abusive behavior often follows a cyclical pattern, which includes phases of tension building, an abusive incident, and then a period of remorse and reconciliation. This cycle can create confusion and make it more challenging for the victim to break free from the abusive relationship.
Feeling of Guilt or Remorse: In some cases, abusers may genuinely feel guilty or remorseful after their abusive actions. However, it's essential to recognize that true remorse involves taking responsibility for one's actions, seeking help, and making a genuine effort to change, not just temporary niceness.
Attempting to Reconnect: Abusive individuals may use acts of kindness as a way to reconnect with their victims, especially if they fear losing their control over them.
External Factors: Sometimes, external events or circumstances can influence an abuser's behavior. For example, if your father is facing pressure from other family members, friends, or legal authorities, he may try to change his behavior temporarily.
Regardless of the reasons for his sudden change in behavior, it's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you have concerns about his intentions or fear that the abuse might continue or escalate, consider the following steps:
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your father to protect yourself from potential harm.
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups to share your feelings and experiences. Talking to others who understand can be validating and empowering.
Safety Plan: If you are in a situation where your safety is at risk, develop a safety plan that includes strategies to protect yourself.
Professional Help: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in abusive relationships to gain insight and guidance.
Limit Contact: If you feel safer by minimizing contact with your father, prioritize your emotional well-being and make decisions that protect you.
Remember that abusive behavior is not acceptable, and you have the right to protect yourself from harm. Trust your instincts, and if you ever feel in immediate danger, don't hesitate to contact local authorities for assistance.