I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing such pain and emotional distress due to your relationship with your biological parents. Feeling like an orphan can be incredibly challenging, especially when you have parents who were emotionally absent or treated you poorly. It's important to acknowledge and address these feelings to begin the healing process. Here are some steps that might help you cope with these emotions:
Allow Yourself to Grieve: It's natural to grieve the loss of the parental relationship you deserved but didn't receive. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, and disappointment associated with this loss.
Seek Support from Others: Reach out to friends, family members, or a support group who can offer understanding and empathy. Talking about your feelings with supportive individuals can be incredibly healing.
Consider Therapy: A mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can help you process your feelings and experiences in a safe and non-judgmental environment. Therapy can provide valuable tools for coping and healing.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that your worth as a person is not defined by the way your parents treated you. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
Set Boundaries: If your parents' behavior continues to negatively affect your life, it might be necessary to establish boundaries or distance yourself from them. Protecting your emotional well-being is essential.
Focus on Building a Supportive Network: Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and treat you with respect. Building a supportive network of friends or chosen family can help fill the void left by your biological parents.
Explore Forgiveness (if you're ready): Forgiveness is a personal process, and it's okay if you're not ready to forgive your parents. However, in time, forgiveness can be a way to release the emotional burden and move forward. It doesn't mean condoning their behavior but rather freeing yourself from carrying the weight of anger and resentment.
Engage in Self-Discovery: Take time to explore your interests, passions, and strengths. Investing in your personal growth can lead to a sense of empowerment and purpose.
Seek Out Positive Role Models: Look for positive role models or mentors who can provide guidance and support. Positive relationships with nurturing individuals can help counteract the negative impact of your past experiences.
Consider Supportive Therapeutic Techniques: Techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can help you process emotions and develop coping strategies.
Remember that healing from the wounds of childhood can be a complex journey, but it is possible. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you find it challenging to cope with these feelings on your own. You deserve a life filled with love, respect, and happiness.