Getting beyond a relationship with someone who is extremely controlling and emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive can be a challenging and emotionally draining process. However, it is essential for your well-being and safety. Here are some steps to consider:
Safety First: If you feel that your safety is at risk, prioritize your safety above all else. If necessary, seek help from friends, family, or local authorities to ensure you are safe from any immediate threats.
Create a Support Network: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer emotional support and understanding during this difficult time. Having a strong support network can help you feel less isolated and provide encouragement throughout the process.
Seek Professional Help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. They can help you process your emotions, set healthy boundaries, and develop coping strategies for moving forward.
No Contact or Limited Contact: If possible, try to limit or cut off contact with the abusive person. This can help reduce their influence on your life and give you space to heal.
Document Incidents: Keep a record of any abusive incidents, including dates, times, and details. This documentation may be helpful if you need to involve legal or protective services later.
Financial Independence: If the abuser has control over your finances, start taking steps to gain financial independence. Create a separate bank account, find employment if possible, and consult a financial advisor for guidance.
Reach Out for Legal Assistance: If you are married or in a legal partnership with the abusive person, consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options for separation or divorce.
Focus on Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that promote emotional and physical well-being. This could include exercise, spending time with supportive friends, meditation, hobbies, or any activities that bring you joy.
Rebuild Friendships and Support Systems: If the abuser isolated you from friends and family, work on rebuilding those connections. Healthy relationships can provide much-needed support during this time.
Educate Yourself on Narcissistic Abuse: Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse can be empowering and help you recognize the manipulation and control tactics used by the abusive person.
Set Boundaries: As you distance yourself from the abuser, set clear and firm boundaries to protect yourself from further harm.
Remember that healing from an abusive relationship takes time, and there may be ups and downs along the way. Be patient with yourself and know that it is possible to recover and rebuild a healthier, happier life. If you find the process overwhelming, seek help from professionals who can support you through this journey.