Question

Help! I feel like my mother is an emotionally-abusive, controlling narcissist. I feel like she's made me the same. Why do I feel this way? I feel that she doesn't value my decisions enough and belittles what I want to and can do. What should I do?

Answer 1

If you believe your mother's behavior is emotionally abusive and controlling, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support. Here are some steps you can consider:

1. Recognize the signs of emotional abuse: Educate yourself about emotional abuse and narcissistic behavior so you can better understand your experiences. Emotional abuse can be subtle but deeply damaging, affecting your self-esteem, confidence, and overall mental health.

2. Seek support from others: Talk to friends, family members, or trusted individuals about your feelings and experiences. Having a support system can provide validation and help you process your emotions.

3. Consider professional help: Speaking with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be incredibly beneficial. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, identify patterns in your relationships, and offer guidance on how to cope with emotional abuse.

4. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your mother to protect your emotional well-being. Let her know what behavior is unacceptable and what you expect from the relationship. Be prepared for resistance, as she may not be receptive to change.

5. Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with positive influences.

6. Limit contact if necessary: If the relationship with your mother is causing you significant distress, consider limiting contact or taking a temporary break to gain clarity and perspective.

7. Seek legal advice if needed: In some cases, if you feel you need legal protection, such as restraining orders or custody arrangements, consult with a lawyer to understand your options.

Remember that seeking professional help is crucial in dealing with emotionally abusive situations, as they can provide personalized advice tailored to your circumstances. Emotional healing and breaking free from negative patterns take time, but with support, self-awareness, and healthy boundaries, you can work towards a healthier and happier life.