It does sound like your mom's behavior could be emotionally abusive or at least emotionally harmful. Constantly comparing you to others and calling you a disappointment, even when you are excelling in school, can have a significant negative impact on your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Emotional abuse can take many forms, and some common signs include:
Constant criticism or belittling: When someone repeatedly puts you down, calls you names, or makes you feel inadequate, it can be emotionally abusive.
Blaming and shaming: If your mom frequently blames you for things beyond your control or shames you for your achievements, it can be emotionally damaging.
Constant comparisons: As in your case, when someone regularly compares you unfavorably to others, it can lead to feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone makes you doubt your perceptions, memory, or reality, leaving you feeling confused and unsure of yourself.
Isolation: Emotional abusers may try to isolate you from friends and support systems, making you more dependent on them and less likely to seek help.
Withholding affection or love: If your mom uses love and affection as a way to control or manipulate you, it can be emotionally abusive.
Remember that abuse can be a pattern of behavior and doesn't have to involve physical violence to be harmful. Emotional abuse can have long-lasting effects on your mental health and well-being.
If you're experiencing emotional abuse, it's essential to seek support from a trusted adult, counselor, or therapist. They can help you process your feelings and provide guidance on how to cope with the situation. If talking to your mom about her behavior seems unsafe or unproductive, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a counselor or family mediator, to facilitate communication.
Your well-being is crucial, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support.