The idea that narcissism can't be "cured" or "fixed" stems from the understanding that narcissistic personality traits and behaviors are deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that develop over time and become part of a person's core identity. Narcissism is considered a personality disorder, specifically Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and like other personality disorders, it is believed to be persistent and stable over time.
There are several reasons why narcissism is challenging to "cure" or "fix":
Ego-syntonic nature: Narcissists typically have an ego-syntonic perspective, meaning they perceive their behaviors and attitudes as normal and acceptable, making it difficult for them to see the need for change.
Limited insight and self-awareness: Many narcissists lack self-awareness and have limited insight into their own behaviors and how they impact others. They may struggle to recognize the need for change and are unlikely to seek therapy willingly.
Defensive mechanisms: Narcissists often use defense mechanisms, such as denial, projection, and rationalization, to protect their self-image and avoid facing their flaws. This can create significant barriers to personal growth and change.
Underlying psychological factors: Narcissism can be influenced by various factors, including early life experiences, trauma, and attachment styles. Addressing these underlying issues can be complex and require long-term therapeutic work.
Resistance to vulnerability: Narcissists tend to avoid vulnerability and emotional intimacy, which are essential for personal growth and change. Engaging in therapy may require them to confront painful emotions and experiences, something they may resist.
Treatment dropout: Narcissists may enter therapy due to external pressures, such as relationship problems or work-related issues, but they are more likely to drop out prematurely or resist therapeutic interventions.
While the core traits of narcissism may be challenging to change, it is essential to note that some individuals with narcissistic traits can learn to manage their behaviors and improve their interpersonal relationships with the right professional help. Cognitive-behavioral therapies, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and schema therapy are some therapeutic approaches that may help address specific narcissistic traits and their underlying causes.
The goal of therapy is not necessarily to "cure" narcissism but rather to help individuals with narcissistic traits develop more adaptive coping strategies, improve their emotional regulation, enhance self-awareness, and build healthier relationships. The degree of change and progress may vary depending on individual factors and the willingness of the person with narcissistic traits to engage in therapy and commit to personal growth.