I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Dealing with the death of a loved one, especially in circumstances where there were unresolved issues, can be incredibly challenging. It's positive that you are seeing a counselor, as they can provide valuable support during this difficult time. Here are some additional steps that may help you move forward:
Allow Yourself to Grieve: Grief is a natural response to loss, and it's essential to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Don't be too hard on yourself or rush the grieving process. It's okay to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, guilt, anger, and regret.
Talk About It: Continue to talk openly with your counselor about your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, discussing your emotions and memories can help you gain clarity and perspective.
Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and you are not responsible for your ex's actions. Be kind to yourself and try to avoid self-blame or excessive guilt.
Seek Support: In addition to your counselor, consider reaching out to supportive friends, family members, or support groups. Talking with others who have experienced loss can be comforting and help you feel less isolated.
Consider Memorializing: You might find solace in creating a memorial or tribute for your ex. This could be writing a letter to them, making a scrapbook, or engaging in an activity that honors their memory.
Engage in Self-Care: Focus on taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's spending time in nature, exercising, or pursuing hobbies.
Forgive Yourself and Your Ex: Forgiveness can be a powerful tool in the healing process. Consider forgiving yourself for any perceived mistakes and forgiving your ex for any hurtful actions. This doesn't mean condoning harmful behaviors, but rather, releasing yourself from the burden of holding onto anger and resentment.
Consider Additional Support: If you find that your grief is overwhelming and affecting your daily life significantly, consider seeking additional professional help or support groups specialized in grief and loss.
Remember that healing from loss is a gradual process, and there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Take your time, and be patient with yourself as you navigate this challenging period. If you ever feel overwhelmed, don't hesitate to reach out for support from those around you or your counselor.