Dealing with a situation where a parent justifies or enables abusive behavior can be extremely challenging and emotionally distressing. Here are some steps to consider if you find yourself in such a situation:
Prioritize Your Safety: Your safety and well-being should be your top priority. If you are in immediate danger, seek help from a trusted adult, friend, or a support organization. If you are a minor, talk to a teacher, school counselor, or another trusted adult about your concerns.
Seek Support from Others: Reach out to friends, other family members, or anyone you trust who may be able to provide emotional support and understanding. Sometimes, talking to someone outside of the family can offer a fresh perspective and a safe space to share your feelings.
Educate Yourself: Learn more about abusive behaviors, enabling, and the impact it can have on individuals and families. Understanding these dynamics can help you cope better and make informed decisions.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with both the abuser and your mother. Let them know what behaviors are unacceptable to you and what consequences you will enforce if those boundaries are crossed.
Express Your Feelings: If you feel safe doing so, communicate your feelings and concerns to your mother. Be honest and open about how her justifications affect you and your well-being. Choose a calm and private setting for this conversation.
Encourage Professional Help: Suggest counseling or therapy for the family as a whole or for your mother individually. Sometimes, a neutral third party can help address underlying issues and promote healthier ways of relating.
Seek Legal or Social Services: If you believe your safety is at risk, consider reaching out to local authorities or social services for help and protection.
Reach Out to Support Organizations: There are many organizations that provide support and resources for individuals dealing with abusive situations. These organizations can offer guidance, safety planning, and emotional support.
Develop Coping Mechanisms: Engage in activities that can help reduce stress and improve your emotional well-being, such as talking to friends, writing in a journal, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing hobbies.
Remember that you don't have to face this situation alone. Reach out for support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you navigate this difficult situation. If you feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to do, consider contacting a domestic violence hotline or helpline for advice and assistance.