Abusers can use various manipulative tactics to maintain control over their victims, and praising someone else in front of the victim is one such tactic. There are several reasons why an abuser might engage in this behavior:
Gaslighting: By praising someone else in front of the victim, the abuser may be trying to make the victim doubt their own worth and sanity. This tactic is called gaslighting, and it aims to undermine the victim's confidence and self-esteem, making them more dependent on the abuser for validation and approval.
Jealousy and Control: The abuser may be deliberately trying to trigger feelings of jealousy or insecurity in the victim. By seeing the abuser praise someone else, the victim might feel threatened or worried about losing the abuser's affection or attention, thus becoming more compliant and eager to please the abuser.
Isolation: Praising others in front of the victim can also be a way to isolate them from their support network. The abuser may use this tactic to alienate the victim from friends or family members by implying that the victim is not as good as the people being praised. This can create a sense of isolation and dependency on the abuser.
Power and Control: Abusers seek to establish and maintain power and control over their victims. Praising others while belittling or demeaning the victim reinforces the power dynamic, making the victim feel inferior and submissive.
Manipulation: It can be a part of the abuser's overall manipulation strategy. By using praise in certain situations, the abuser might be trying to appear kind and generous to others, while maintaining their abusive behavior behind closed doors.
Public Image: Some abusers care deeply about their public image and may go to great lengths to portray themselves as kind, charming, and generous to others outside the home. This can make it difficult for others to believe that the abuser is capable of abusive behavior.
It's important to recognize that these tactics are part of a larger pattern of abuse and control. If you are experiencing this type of behavior or any form of abuse, it's crucial to seek help and support. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can provide assistance and guidance in finding ways to protect yourself and take steps towards a safer and healthier life.