It can be challenging to understand why someone who has been abusive is suddenly trying to act nice. There are several possible reasons for this change in behavior, and it's essential to approach the situation with caution. Here are some potential reasons:
Manipulation: Abusive individuals may use kindness as a manipulation tactic to maintain control over their victims. By acting nice, they may hope to convince you to stay or to make you doubt the seriousness of their abusive behavior.
Guilt and remorse: Sometimes, abusive individuals might feel guilty or remorseful for their actions, leading them to attempt to make amends. However, it's crucial to remember that a temporary change in behavior does not excuse or erase past abusive actions.
Fear of consequences: Abusers may be trying to avoid legal consequences, exposure, or losing relationships due to their abusive behavior. Their niceness could be an attempt to prevent others from discovering their actions.
Cycle of abuse: Abusers often follow a cycle of abuse, which includes periods of tension building, an explosive incident, and then a "honeymoon" phase of apologies and promises to change. This cycle can repeat, and the honeymoon phase may be part of it.
Personal issues: External factors in the abuser's life, such as stress, work-related problems, or mental health issues, may be affecting their behavior. However, it's essential to remember that these factors do not excuse abuse.
Regardless of the reason for the sudden change in behavior, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them to your father. Let him know what behaviors are unacceptable, and be prepared to enforce these boundaries.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can provide emotional support and guidance. Consider contacting a domestic violence helpline or support group.
Safety planning: Create a safety plan for yourself in case the situation escalates or becomes dangerous. Identify safe places to go and people you can trust.
Consider professional help: Encourage your father to seek therapy or counseling to address his abusive behavior. However, do not assume responsibility for his actions or believe that you can change him on your own.
Document incidents: If the abusive behavior continues, document any instances of abuse for future reference, especially if you need to involve legal authorities.
Remember that it is not your responsibility to fix or change your father's behavior. Your safety and well-being should be your top priority. Seek help and support from trusted individuals or organizations to navigate this difficult situation.