Question

What do you think of two alters dating? I recently found out two of the others liked each other, and wanted to date. However I'm not sure how to feel about it. They're very similar and do make a good couple, but I still feel weird about it. Do you have an alter/ self that is dating another one? How do you deal with it?

Answer 1

In the context of dissociative identity disorder (DID), alters are distinct identities within the same person. It's essential to remember that alters are still parts of the same individual, and their feelings and relationships are a reflection of the person's inner dynamics. As long as their relationship is consensual and brings happiness to both parties involved, it can be considered a valid and healthy connection.

However, it's completely understandable for you to feel a bit conflicted or uneasy about it. It can be challenging to process and accept when different parts of yourself experience romantic feelings for each other. It's important to allow yourself to explore these feelings and reactions.

Here are a few suggestions on how to approach this situation:

1. Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize and accept that it's natural to have mixed emotions about two alters dating. It's a unique and complex situation, and your feelings are valid.

2. Open communication: Encourage the alters involved in the relationship to communicate openly with each other and with you. Discuss your concerns and feelings in a supportive and understanding manner.

3. Seek therapy: If you're struggling to cope with the situation, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor who has experience in working with individuals with DID or other dissociative disorders. They can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you navigate this situation.

4. Establish boundaries: Make sure everyone involved is aware of the importance of boundaries within the system and in relationships with one another.

5. Self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you process these emotions. Understand that navigating relationships within a dissociative system can be challenging, and it's okay to take some time to come to terms with it.

Remember that every DID system is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. It's essential to prioritize the well-being of all alters involved and find a solution that works for everyone. If you're ever uncertain or overwhelmed, seeking professional help is always a valuable option.