Question

When you dissociate, do you feel your own needs or desires are secondary to those of others? How do you think that helps you survive? Have you ever been able to put yourself first after experiencing dissociation? How did you manage to do that?

Answer 1

Dissociation is a defense mechanism that some people may experience during times of extreme stress, trauma, or intense emotional situations. It involves a disconnection between thoughts, feelings, consciousness, and identity, leading individuals to feel detached from their thoughts, emotions, or even their physical bodies. During dissociation, an individual may feel like an observer rather than an active participant in their own experiences.

In some cases of dissociation, individuals may indeed perceive their own needs and desires as secondary to those of others. This can happen because dissociation often involves a sense of detachment from oneself and can lead to a heightened focus on the needs and emotions of others as a way of coping with overwhelming emotions or trauma.

Putting oneself first after experiencing dissociation can be challenging, but it is essential for self-care and well-being. Here are some strategies that might help:

1. Self-awareness: Recognizing and acknowledging that you have been dissociating and understanding its impact on your feelings and behaviors can be the first step towards putting yourself first.

2. Seek support: Talking to a mental health professional or a supportive friend or family member can be beneficial in understanding and processing your experiences. They can offer guidance and assistance in prioritizing your needs.

3. Mindfulness techniques: Engaging in mindfulness practices can help ground you in the present moment, promoting self-awareness and self-compassion.

4. Set boundaries: Learning to say no and setting healthy boundaries with others can be crucial in asserting your needs and desires.

5. Self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend who is going through a difficult time.

6. Prioritize self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and promote relaxation. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential in putting yourself first.

7. Gradual steps: It's okay to take small steps towards self-assertion. Start with small decisions and gradually work your way up to more significant changes.

It's important to note that dissociation can be a complex and challenging experience, and seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and dissociation can be highly beneficial in navigating these experiences and learning how to prioritize your needs effectively.