Question

I experience heavy dissociation from my BPD, and by seeing how dissociation feels, I think I lived a co-fronting. Because that didn't feel the same. Around 10 y/o, when I didn't feel like myself at all and that was traumatizing. I had some conversations, with myself turning insane during those times or an alter, I have no clue. Some of the only times in my childhood(>6) that I remember, I would wake up after a fight, or during it and be in the moment and not remember the after. And I feel that the other parts of my memory belongs to someone else. I have to make huge efforts to remember others aspects of my life, and I feel that I had a conversation last year with a possible alter, who seems to be pretty dormant and, I don't know, I'm lost. I don't experience dissociative amnesia, BPD both

Answer 1

It's important to remember that online platforms, including this one, are not a substitute for professional help. If you're experiencing significant dissociation, memory gaps, and concerns about potential alters, it's essential to reach out to a qualified mental health professional for a comprehensive evaluation and support.

Dissociation is a complex phenomenon that can be associated with various conditions, including Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It involves a disconnection between thoughts, identity, consciousness, and memory, which can lead to feelings of detachment from oneself or reality. Dissociative experiences can range from mild to severe and may be triggered by stress, trauma, or other factors.

People with BPD may also experience identity disturbances, which can contribute to the feeling of having different parts of themselves or a lack of continuity in their sense of self.

Regarding the concept of "alters," this is more commonly associated with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). DID is a complex dissociative disorder characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states or identity states that recurrently take control of the individual's behavior. However, self-diagnosis is not recommended, and it's crucial to consult with a professional to receive a proper assessment and diagnosis.

Given the complexity of your experiences and concerns, it's essential to seek help from a mental health professional who is experienced in working with dissociation, trauma, and personality disorders. They can provide a thorough evaluation, a proper diagnosis, and develop an appropriate treatment plan tailored to your needs.

In the meantime, practicing grounding techniques and self-care can help manage feelings of dissociation and stress. Mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, and engaging in activities that bring you comfort and joy can be beneficial.

Remember, reaching out for professional help is a courageous step, and it can make a significant difference in your well-being. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to seek the support you need.