When a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) avoids the issue, it typically refers to a pattern of behavior where they try to evade or deflect discussions or situations that trigger intense emotional distress or feelings of vulnerability. Avoidance can manifest in various ways, and it's important to understand that this behavior may serve as a coping mechanism for individuals with BPD to protect themselves from emotional pain or perceived threats.
Several reasons may explain why someone with BPD avoids addressing certain issues:
Fear of Abandonment: People with BPD often have a heightened fear of abandonment and rejection. They may avoid certain topics or situations to prevent conflicts or the potential abandonment by someone they care about.
Emotional Sensitivity: Individuals with BPD can be highly emotionally sensitive, and certain topics or discussions may trigger intense emotional reactions. Avoiding these situations might be an attempt to maintain emotional stability and prevent emotional overwhelm.
Black-and-White Thinking: BPD is associated with a tendency toward black-and-white thinking, where situations are perceived as all good or all bad. When faced with a challenging issue, someone with BPD might see it as overwhelmingly negative, leading them to avoid addressing it altogether.
Self-Protection: Individuals with BPD may have experienced past traumas or emotional wounds, and avoiding certain issues could be a way of protecting themselves from re-experiencing pain or vulnerability.
Difficulty with Emotional Regulation: BPD is characterized by difficulties in regulating emotions. Avoiding the issue might be an attempt to avoid emotional triggers that could lead to emotional dysregulation or outbursts.
Lack of Coping Skills: Some individuals with BPD may have limited coping skills to handle distressing situations effectively. Avoidance might be their default coping mechanism when faced with challenging issues.
It's essential to approach individuals with BPD with empathy and understanding. If you suspect someone is avoiding an issue due to their BPD, it's crucial to create a supportive and non-judgmental environment where open communication can take place. Professional therapy, particularly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be highly effective in helping individuals with BPD develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve their communication and emotional regulation skills.