What you described does sound like a form of dissociation, specifically a dissociative experience known as "derealization" or "depersonalization." Derealization is a feeling of detachment or unreality concerning the external world, where things may seem distorted, dreamlike, or as if you're observing them from a distance. Depersonalization, on the other hand, involves feeling disconnected from yourself or your body, as if you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations.
The sensation of feeling like you were curled up in a ball under your therapist's desk while actually sitting on the couch is a classic example of depersonalization. It can give you the impression of being separated from your body or experiencing a division within yourself.
It's not uncommon for individuals to experience derealization or depersonalization during periods of stress, anxiety, or when confronted with overwhelming emotions or memories. As mentioned earlier, dissociative experiences can be a psychological defense mechanism, a way for the mind to cope with intense feelings or distressing situations.
If you're experiencing these feelings regularly or they're causing distress in your life, it's important to share this with a mental health professional. A qualified therapist can help you explore these experiences further, identify any potential underlying causes, and provide appropriate support and guidance.
It's essential to remember that I am not a mental health professional, and my responses are not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. If you have concerns about your mental health, please consult a licensed mental health professional who can provide personalized evaluation and support.