I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling and feeling exhausted. It's important to prioritize your well-being and seek help from a qualified mental health professional who can provide personalized support and guidance.
It sounds like you may be experiencing challenges related to dissociation and your alters. Dissociation is a complex phenomenon that can be linked to various mental health conditions, such as dissociative identity disorder (DID) or other trauma-related disorders. Talking to a therapist who specializes in trauma and dissociation can be incredibly beneficial in understanding and managing these experiences.
Here are some steps you can take to get the help you need:
Reach out to your therapist: If your gatekeeper is indicating a need to switch during therapy, consider discussing this with your therapist. They are trained to work with dissociation and can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to explore these experiences.
Consider seeking trauma-informed therapy: Look for a therapist who has experience and training in trauma and dissociation. They can offer specialized techniques and approaches to address your specific needs.
Practice self-care: Take time for yourself to rest and recharge. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation.
Support from friends and family: Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can provide support during challenging times.
Seek professional guidance: If you feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to proceed, consider consulting with a mental health professional for an assessment and guidance.
Take time off if needed: If you're experiencing significant distress at work, it might be helpful to take some time off to focus on your well-being and seek therapeutic support.
Remember, you don't have to go through this alone. Reaching out for help is a courageous step, and there are resources available to support you on your journey to healing and well-being.