Question

I experience heavy dissociation from my BPD, and by seeing how dissociation feels, I think I lived a co-fronting. Because that didn't feel the same. Around 10 y/o, when I didn't feel like myself at all and that was traumatizing. I had some conversations, with myself turning insane during those times or an alter, I have no clue. Some of the only times in my childhood(>6) that I remember, I would wake up after a fight, or during it and be in the moment and not remember the after. And I feel that the other parts of my memory belongs to someone else. I have to make huge efforts to remember others aspects of my life, and I feel that I had a conversation last year with a possible alter, who seems to be pretty dormant and, I don't know, I'm lost. I don't experience dissociative amnesia, BPD both

Answer 1

It's important to remember that online advice cannot replace a proper evaluation by a qualified mental health professional. Given the complexity of your experiences, it would be beneficial to speak with a therapist or psychologist who has experience in dissociative disorders and trauma.

From what you've described, it seems like you may be experiencing dissociative symptoms, which can sometimes be associated with conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Dissociation is a defense mechanism that the mind uses to cope with overwhelming or traumatic experiences. It can involve feeling disconnected from oneself, one's thoughts, feelings, or memories. Dissociative experiences can vary in intensity and can manifest in different ways, such as feeling like you're not fully present in the moment, gaps in memory, or feeling like you're watching yourself from a distance.

If you suspect that you might be experiencing dissociation and possibly co-fronting with alter parts, it's crucial to seek professional help. A therapist experienced in working with dissociative disorders can help you explore and understand these experiences better, as well as work towards integrating any fragmented parts of yourself. They can also assess if you might have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a condition where a person experiences the presence of distinct identities or personality states that may take control of the person's behavior.

Overthinking can be a common response to trying to make sense of complex emotions and experiences. While it's essential to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, it's equally crucial to engage in self-compassion and seek appropriate support when needed.

Here are some steps to consider:

1. Reach out to a mental health professional: A therapist experienced in dissociative disorders and trauma can help you explore your experiences and provide guidance and support.

2. Journaling: Consider keeping a journal to document your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. This can help you gain insights and patterns that may arise.

3. Practice grounding techniques: When you feel dissociated or overwhelmed, grounding exercises can help bring you back to the present moment. Simple techniques like focusing on your breath, observing your surroundings, or using tactile sensations can be helpful.

4. Seek support from loved ones: If you feel comfortable, talk to people you trust about your experiences. Having a supportive network can be invaluable.

Remember, it's essential to work with a professional who can provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your specific experiences and needs. Don't hesitate to seek help—it can be a significant step towards healing and understanding yourself better.