If you're experiencing intense feelings of anger, sadness, depression, a desire for power and destruction, and believe you might have a personality disorder, it's crucial to seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
There could be various reasons why you might be experiencing these emotions and traits. Mental health conditions are complex and can have a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors contributing to their development. Only a licensed mental health professional can properly assess and diagnose any potential mental health issues.
If you're open to understanding yourself better and seeking help, consider reaching out to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor. They can conduct a thorough evaluation, provide an accurate diagnosis, and develop a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs. Remember that seeking professional help is a brave and essential step towards well-being and personal growth.