It's natural to have complex and conflicting emotions, especially when dealing with a history of abuse or mistreatment. However, it's important to recognize that seeking revenge or enjoying someone else's suffering is not a healthy or constructive approach. It can perpetuate negativity and may not ultimately bring you the satisfaction or closure you seek.
While it's understandable that you might feel hesitant to help your cousin due to your past experiences with her father, it's crucial to consider the well-being of your cousin separately from her father's actions. She is not responsible for her father's behavior, and supporting her during her struggle with depression is an opportunity to show empathy and compassion.
If you find it challenging to set aside your feelings towards her father, you may want to seek support or guidance from a therapist or counselor. Talking through your emotions and experiences with a professional can help you find healthier ways to cope with your feelings and address any lingering trauma from your past.
Remember that helping someone in need doesn't mean you have to forgive or forget past mistreatment, but it does allow you to demonstrate kindness and break the cycle of negativity. Empathy and understanding can promote healing for both yourself and your cousin.
Ultimately, holding onto feelings of revenge or enjoying someone else's suffering can weigh heavily on your own well-being and happiness. It's essential to find healthier ways to process these emotions and focus on building positive and supportive relationships with others.