I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time after the breakup. Breakups can be emotionally challenging, and it's not uncommon for one person to feel more affected than the other, even if the decision to end the relationship was mutual or initiated by the other person. Several factors could contribute to why you might be feeling more depressed while your ex-boyfriend claims to be happier:
Coping mechanisms: People have different ways of coping with emotional challenges. Your ex-boyfriend may be dealing with his emotions in a way that allows him to appear happier on the surface, but that doesn't necessarily mean he is not experiencing any inner turmoil.
Emotional investment: The level of emotional investment and attachment in a relationship can vary between individuals. You might have been more emotionally invested in the relationship, which can make the breakup more challenging for you.
Processing time: People process emotions and the end of a relationship differently. Your ex-boyfriend might have started dealing with the emotions before the actual breakup, giving him a head start in the healing process.
Support systems: The presence of a strong support system, such as friends, family, or therapy, can greatly influence how one copes with a breakup. If your ex-boyfriend has a reliable support network, he may find it easier to navigate his emotions.
Underlying mental health conditions: As you mentioned, your ex-boyfriend suffers from depression and anxiety, which could influence his perception and expression of emotions. Depression can sometimes manifest as a lack of emotional reactivity, which may make it seem like he is happier without you, but this might not be the whole truth.
Rejection sensitivity: If you didn't initiate the breakup, feelings of rejection can intensify the emotional impact of the separation, leading to more significant feelings of depression.
It's important to remember that everyone's emotional journey is unique, and comparing your feelings to your ex-boyfriend's outward appearance can be misleading. What matters most right now is to focus on your healing and well-being. Give yourself time and space to process your emotions, and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to navigate through this challenging period.
Additionally, try to engage in self-care activities, focus on your interests and hobbies, and surround yourself with positive influences. Healing after a breakup takes time, and it's okay to experience a range of emotions during this process. Over time, with proper care and support, you can start to feel better and move forward in your life.