Experiencing hurtful and offensive language from a loved one, especially during an argument, can be incredibly distressing and damaging to a relationship. When your boyfriend calls you hurtful names that you specifically asked him not to use, it's essential to address the situation and communicate your feelings honestly. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Take time for yourself: If you're feeling upset or overwhelmed, it's okay to take some time to cool down and collect your thoughts before discussing the issue. Give yourself space to process your emotions and gather your feelings.
Communicate your feelings: When you feel ready, express your emotions calmly and honestly to your boyfriend. Use "I" statements to communicate how his words made you feel. For example, say, "I felt hurt and disrespected when you used those words during our argument."
Set boundaries: Remind your boyfriend about the boundaries you've previously established regarding hurtful language. Make it clear that such language is unacceptable and damaging to the relationship.
Seek understanding: Give your boyfriend the opportunity to explain his side of the argument. However, keep in mind that even if he claims he didn't mean the words, it doesn't invalidate the hurt they caused.
Address the root issue: Try to understand the underlying reasons that led to the heated argument and the use of hurtful words. Identifying and addressing these issues can help prevent similar incidents in the future.
Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on whether this is a one-time occurrence or part of a pattern of disrespectful behavior. Consider whether you feel safe, respected, and valued in the relationship overall.
Consider seeking support: If the situation has deeply affected you and communication with your boyfriend doesn't seem to resolve the issue, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and perspective.
Remember that relationships should be built on trust, respect, and open communication. Hurtful words can cause long-lasting damage to trust and emotional well-being. It's important to have honest conversations about how you both want to communicate and treat each other in the relationship.