It's concerning if your boyfriend is being overly critical and demanding about cleaning, especially after you've just cooked for him. While I don't have access to the specific dynamics of your relationship, I can offer some possible explanations for his behavior:
Perfectionism: Some individuals have a strong desire for everything to be perfect and may have difficulty tolerating even minor messes or imperfections.
Upbringing and Expectations: His attitude towards cleanliness might be influenced by his upbringing and the environment he grew up in. If he was raised in a household with strict cleanliness standards, he may expect the same from his living space.
Control Issues: Demanding perfection in cleaning could be a sign of control issues. It may not be about cleanliness itself but rather a way to assert control over you or the environment.
Communicating Preferences: Perhaps he has specific preferences for cleanliness, and he might not be expressing them effectively. However, there are better ways to communicate preferences without getting angry.
Misplaced Frustrations: His frustration with cleaning may be related to other stressors in his life, and he's directing that frustration towards the cleaning issue.
Lack of Appreciation: If he doesn't appreciate the effort you put into cooking and feels entitled to a perfectly clean space, it can lead to him being overly demanding.
Regardless of the reason, it's essential to address this issue in your relationship. Here are some steps you can take:
Open Communication: Have a calm and open conversation with him about how his behavior makes you feel. Share your perspective and listen to his side as well.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about household responsibilities and cleaning expectations. It should be a fair and mutual agreement, not a one-sided demand.
Express Appreciation: Make sure he understands that you would appreciate recognition for your cooking efforts and that cleaning together can be a shared responsibility.
Seek Compromise: Find a middle ground that works for both of you regarding cleanliness standards.
Seek Support: If the behavior persists and becomes emotionally or verbally abusive, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a counselor.
Remember that a healthy relationship should be built on respect, understanding, and cooperation. If your boyfriend's behavior continues to be unreasonable or controlling, it may be a red flag for deeper issues in the relationship that need to be addressed. Always prioritize your well-being and happiness.