Determining if a relationship is abusive requires a comprehensive understanding of the dynamics, behaviors, and context involved.
However, from the examples you provided earlier about a cheating boyfriend continuing to text his mistress at night, it does raise some red flags that might be indicative of problematic behaviors in the relationship. Cheating, emotional disconnection, and secrecy can be signs of an unhealthy or toxic relationship.
If you are feeling hurt, confused, or unhappy in your relationship, it's essential to consider seeking support and guidance from friends, family, or a professional therapist. They can provide a more in-depth assessment based on a broader understanding of your situation and offer advice on how to navigate any challenges you may be facing.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and seeking help from a qualified professional can help you gain clarity and make informed decisions about your well-being and happiness.