There could be several reasons why your boyfriend is being secretive about his family. It's essential to remember that everyone has their unique experiences and reasons for their behavior, so without direct communication with him, it's challenging to pinpoint the exact cause. However, here are some potential reasons for his behavior:
Family Issues: He might have unresolved issues or conflicts within his family that he prefers to keep private. These issues could be sensitive or even painful, making him hesitant to discuss them with others.
Privacy Concerns: Some people are naturally more private about their personal lives, including their family matters. He might be someone who values keeping personal and family information separate from his romantic relationship.
Cultural or Traditional Norms: In some cultures or families, discussing family matters outside the family circle might be considered inappropriate. He could be adhering to such cultural or traditional norms.
Lack of Trust: It's possible that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing certain aspects of his family life with you due to a lack of trust or fear of judgment.
Protective Instinct: He might be trying to protect you from potential conflicts or issues within his family, thinking it's best to keep them separate from your relationship.
Past Trauma: There might be past traumas or difficult experiences within his family that he prefers not to talk about to avoid triggering painful memories.
Regarding why he doesn't let his family talk to you, there could be similar reasons, such as not wanting to involve you in potential family conflicts or trying to maintain boundaries between his family and romantic relationship.
The best approach to understanding his behavior is through open and honest communication. Create a safe space where he can express himself without feeling judged. Let him know that you care about him and that you're interested in knowing more about his family, but reassure him that you'll respect his boundaries. Remember that pushing him to reveal information might only cause further withdrawal.
If he remains unwilling to discuss his family or if it becomes a significant issue in your relationship, you may consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist to help facilitate communication and understanding between both of you.