It sounds like you are facing a challenging situation. It's essential to address these issues in a constructive and open manner. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Communicate: Have an honest and calm conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns and feelings. Choose a time when you both can talk without distractions or interruptions. Avoid blaming or accusing language; instead, focus on expressing your needs and expectations regarding the living arrangements and financial contributions.
Set boundaries: Clearly define the expectations and responsibilities for both of you living together. Discuss how you can fairly share the household expenses and responsibilities. If he's staying at your place, it's reasonable for him to contribute to the household bills, considering he is benefiting from living there too.
Parenting responsibilities: Address the issue of his son visiting regularly. Discuss and agree on a schedule that works for both of you, considering your young baby and the need for a stable living environment.
Financial planning: If your boyfriend is unable to contribute financially due to reasons like unemployment or financial difficulties, discuss a plan for how he can contribute in other ways, such as taking care of household chores, cooking, or caring for the children when needed.
Seek mediation: If you find it difficult to communicate effectively or reach an agreement, consider seeking the help of a neutral third party, like a family counselor or therapist. They can facilitate productive conversations and provide guidance on how to address the issues.
Reevaluate the living arrangement: If your boyfriend is unwilling to contribute financially or help with household responsibilities, and the situation is causing significant stress, you may need to consider whether living together is the best option for you and your children. Sometimes, difficult decisions are necessary to ensure a healthy and stable environment for everyone involved.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to discuss your situation and get emotional support during this challenging time.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's essential to consider what is best for you, your baby, and your overall well-being in making any decisions about your living arrangements and relationship.