The question of whether it is wrong for your boyfriend to tell you that your son shouldn't be first in your life depends on the context and the reasoning behind his statement.
In a healthy relationship, open communication and understanding each other's priorities are essential. It is reasonable for your partner to express their feelings and concerns about the dynamics of the relationship, including the role of your son. However, it is crucial to approach such discussions with empathy and respect for each other's perspectives.
Parents often have a natural instinct to prioritize the well-being and needs of their children, especially when it comes to safety, health, and overall care. It is normal for your son to hold a significant place in your life if you are his parent.
That said, a partner may feel neglected or excluded if they perceive that they are not receiving enough attention or support. It's essential to have open conversations about these feelings and work together to find a balance that respects both your parental responsibilities and your relationship.
Ultimately, the key is to have honest discussions about your values, expectations, and the roles you both want to play in each other's lives. A healthy relationship involves compromise and understanding from both partners, but it should not involve dismissing or neglecting your child's needs if you are a parent.
If you find that you and your boyfriend have very different views on this matter and cannot reach a resolution through communication and understanding, it might be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor or therapist to work through the challenges and find a path forward that works for both of you. Remember that your child's well-being should always be a top priority in any decision-making process.