Dealing with conflict in a relationship can be challenging, but it's essential to handle it in a healthy and respectful manner. If your boyfriend ignores you when he's upset and then resorts to saying hurtful things to provoke a reaction from you, it suggests there are some communication and emotional maturity issues that need to be addressed. Here are some steps to consider:
Take care of yourself: First and foremost, prioritize your emotional well-being. If his behavior is becoming emotionally damaging or toxic, it's crucial to protect yourself from any harmful effects.
Communication is key: When both of you are in a calm state, try to have an open and honest conversation about how his behavior affects you. Express your feelings and concerns about his ignoring you and using hurtful words. It's essential to communicate in a non-confrontational manner, using "I" statements to express your emotions and experiences. For example, say, "I feel hurt and confused when you ignore me and say hurtful things."
Listen actively: Encourage your boyfriend to share his feelings and perspective as well. Effective communication is a two-way street, and understanding each other's viewpoints is essential for resolving conflicts.
Seek professional help: If you find it difficult to communicate effectively or if the issues seem too complex, consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and improving communication.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries regarding how you expect to be treated in the relationship. Let your boyfriend know that using hurtful language is not acceptable, and you won't engage in discussions that involve insults or disrespect.
Take breaks if necessary: If conflicts escalate, taking a break from each other can be beneficial to cool off and gain perspective. Space can help prevent saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment.
Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on the overall health of the relationship. If this pattern of behavior persists despite your efforts to address it, consider whether this is the type of relationship you want to continue.
Seek support: Talk to friends or family members you trust about your situation. Their outside perspective and support can be valuable during difficult times.
Remember, a healthy relationship is built on communication, respect, and empathy. If your attempts to address the issue are consistently met with negativity or if the behavior doesn't change, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship's viability. Your emotional well-being is essential, and it's okay to prioritize your happiness and safety.