When your ex-husband says he only wants what is best for your children but doesn't spend time with them, it can be a contradictory and confusing statement. There are a few possible interpretations for this behavior:
Prioritizing other aspects of their life: Your ex-husband may genuinely care about the well-being of your children and want what's best for them, but he might be prioritizing other commitments or responsibilities that prevent him from spending time with them. These commitments could be work-related, personal, or social in nature.
Emotional distance: Sometimes, after a divorce or separation, one parent might struggle with the emotional challenges of the situation. This could lead to emotional distancing from the children, even though they still want the best for them. They might find it difficult to cope with their emotions, and as a result, they avoid spending time with the children to avoid facing those feelings.
Guilt or insecurity: Your ex-husband might feel guilty about the divorce or the circumstances surrounding it. This guilt could cause him to withdraw and believe that he's not a positive influence on the children, even if that's not the case. As a result, he might think it's best for the children to stay away from them.
Miscommunication or misunderstanding: There could be miscommunication between you and your ex-husband about his involvement in the children's lives. Perhaps he thinks he is doing what's best by providing financial support or making decisions from a distance, while you expect him to be more present in their daily lives.
Fear of rejection or conflict: Depending on the reasons for the divorce, your ex-husband may fear rejection or conflict with the children or even with you. This fear could prevent him from engaging with the children, even if he cares about them deeply.
Regardless of the reasons behind his behavior, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your ex-husband about your concerns for the well-being of your children. Encourage him to spend more quality time with them and be actively involved in their lives, as children benefit from having positive relationships with both parents whenever possible. If necessary, consider seeking the help of a mediator or family counselor to facilitate productive discussions and improve the co-parenting relationship. Ultimately, the best interests of the children should remain the primary focus for both parents.