Both situations can be challenging and emotionally difficult in different ways. Let's explore each scenario:
Not being an option: When you're not an option in someone's life, it can be disheartening and may lead to feelings of rejection and inadequacy. You might feel overlooked or unappreciated, which can negatively impact your self-esteem and overall well-being. It's natural to desire a connection with someone and feel valued in a relationship, so not being chosen can be quite painful.
Being the second option: Being someone's second choice can also be hurtful and demoralizing. It can make you feel like you are not their first preference and are settling for less than you deserve. Being aware that you are not the priority in someone's life can create insecurity and doubts about the relationship's future and the other person's true feelings for you.
In both cases, it's essential to consider your own emotional needs and self-worth. It's not healthy to stay in a relationship where you constantly feel like you are not a priority or where you are knowingly settling for less than what you desire. In such situations, it might be necessary to take a step back and evaluate the relationship's dynamics.
Ultimately, the right relationship should involve mutual respect, love, and a genuine desire to be together. You should never settle for being someone's backup plan or feel undervalued in a relationship. If you find yourself in either of these situations, it might be worth having an open and honest conversation with the other person about your feelings and concerns.
Remember, being in a healthy relationship means being with someone who genuinely cares for you and makes you a priority in their life. It's okay to have standards and expectations for how you want to be treated in a relationship. If the current relationship doesn't meet those expectations, it might be necessary to consider whether it's the right relationship for you in the long run.