If your boyfriend is making hurtful comments about how other girls he's been with are "10x hotter" than you, it's crucial to address this issue and communicate openly with him. Such comments can be disrespectful, damaging to self-esteem, and not a healthy way to communicate in a relationship.
There could be several reasons why he is saying this, though none of them justify the hurtful behavior. Some possible explanations could be:
Insecurity: He might be feeling insecure about the relationship or himself, and making such comments is his way of seeking reassurance or validation.
Insensitivity: He might not realize how hurtful his comments are and may lack the emotional intelligence to understand the impact of his words.
Manipulation: Unfortunately, some individuals may use negative comments to manipulate or control their partners, making them feel inadequate or dependent on their approval.
Poor communication skills: He might not know how to express his feelings properly and ends up saying things that are hurtful unintentionally.
Regardless of the reason, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation about how his words are affecting you and the relationship. Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Choose the right time and place: Find a calm and private space where you both can talk openly without distractions.
Express your feelings: Be honest and let him know how his comments make you feel. Use "I" statements to communicate your emotions without sounding accusatory.
Ask for clarification: Give him an opportunity to explain his words, but also let him know how they affect your self-esteem and the relationship.
Set boundaries: Let him know that such comments are not acceptable and that you expect respectful and supportive communication in the relationship.
Discuss the future: If he genuinely cares about you, he should be willing to work on improving his communication and addressing any underlying issues.
Seek support if needed: If the behavior continues or becomes emotionally abusive, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a counselor.
Remember that healthy relationships are built on respect, trust, and open communication. It's essential to be with someone who uplifts and values you for who you are. If the behavior persists and he doesn't show any willingness to change, you may need to reevaluate the relationship for your emotional well-being.