I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult and painful experience. Infidelity and betrayal can severely impact trust and emotional connections in a relationship. Rebuilding trust after such an event is a challenging process, and it's understandable that you might be struggling with your feelings and intimacy.
Here are some steps you can consider taking to navigate this situation:
Honest Communication: Talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts to change and mature, but you still find it challenging to trust him fully. It's crucial for both of you to be open about your emotions and concerns.
Take Time for Yourself: Healing from betrayal takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space you need to process your emotions. Consider spending time alone or with supportive friends/family to gain clarity on your feelings and needs.
Seek Professional Help: Consider couples counseling or individual therapy to work through the trust issues and emotional challenges you're facing. A therapist can provide guidance and support to help you both rebuild the relationship in a healthy way.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in the relationship and communicate what you need to feel safe and respected. This might include rules about communication, transparency, and rebuilding trust gradually.
Take Small Steps: Rebuilding trust is a gradual process. You don't need to rush into full trust right away. Take small steps, observe his consistency, and allow trust to develop naturally over time.
Self-Care: Focus on self-care and self-love. Prioritize your well-being and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of the relationship.
Trust Your Instincts: Pay attention to your instincts and intuition. If something doesn't feel right or you have ongoing doubts, it's essential to explore those feelings and address them openly.
Be Patient: Healing and rebuilding trust can be a long and bumpy road. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you both work through this challenging phase.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or not is entirely yours. It's essential to weigh the efforts he's making to change against your feelings and whether you believe that the relationship can truly be repaired. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship, and it's okay to prioritize your emotional well-being and needs. If, despite efforts, you find that the trust cannot be fully restored, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is truly right for you in the long run.