Discovering that the person you're talking to is also engaged with another individual in a similar manner can be hurtful and challenging to deal with. Here are some steps to consider taking:
Stay Calm and Reflect: Take some time to process your emotions before reacting. It's normal to feel hurt, disappointed, or even angry in this situation, but reacting impulsively may not lead to the best outcome.
Communication is Key: If you feel comfortable, talk to the person openly about what you've discovered. Share your feelings and concerns about the situation. Be honest and respectful in your communication, and give them a chance to explain their actions. Keep in mind that there might be reasons behind their behavior that you're unaware of.
Know Your Boundaries: Assess your own feelings and what you're looking for in a relationship. If you value monogamy and exclusivity, it's essential to communicate those boundaries clearly.
Evaluate the Situation: Consider the nature of your relationship with this person. Are you just talking casually, or is there a deeper emotional connection? Understanding the level of commitment and emotional investment involved will help you make better decisions.
Trust Your Instincts: Pay attention to your gut feelings about the situation. If you sense that something is off or that you can't trust this person, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and self-respect.
Give Yourself Space: Take time for yourself to process everything. If you need to distance yourself from the situation to gain clarity, do so. You don't have to make any hasty decisions.
Seek Support: Talk to friends or family members you trust about what you're going through. Their support and perspective can be valuable during difficult times.
Consider Your Options: Depending on how the conversation with the person goes and how you feel about the situation, you may need to decide whether to continue the relationship or move on.
Set Clear Expectations: If you choose to continue the relationship, discuss your expectations with the person regarding exclusivity and communication with others. Be sure you both are on the same page moving forward.
Self-Care: Take care of yourself throughout this process. Engage in activities that bring you joy and focus on your well-being.
Remember that it's entirely valid to have your feelings and that you deserve honesty and respect in any relationship. Ultimately, the decision about what to do should align with your values and what feels right for you.