It's essential to approach this situation with open communication and empathy. Calling you a "gold digger" for asking for a small amount of money for lunch is an extreme reaction and can be hurtful. Here are some steps to consider:
Clarify your intentions: Talk to your boyfriend about why you asked for the money. Explain that it was a one-time request for a specific purpose, and not an indication of you wanting to take advantage of him financially.
Express your feelings: Share how his response made you feel and the impact of his words on your emotions. Communication is key in any relationship, and it's important to express how his reaction affected you.
Listen to his perspective: Give him the chance to explain why he reacted that way. There might be underlying reasons for his response, and understanding his perspective can be helpful in resolving the issue.
Discuss financial expectations: Talk openly about your respective financial situations and expectations in the relationship. Being on the same page about money matters is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Assess the overall relationship: Reflect on whether this incident is part of a larger pattern of disrespect or communication issues in the relationship. If there are other problems, it might be worth addressing them together.
Seek compromise: If there are financial concerns, consider finding a middle ground that works for both of you. Maybe you can explore other ways to manage expenses or contribute in different aspects of the relationship.
Consider professional help: If the conversation becomes difficult or unproductive, consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist or counselor to facilitate communication and problem-solving.
Respect each other's boundaries: If he is unwilling to budge on the matter, respect his decision, and evaluate if you can live with that aspect of the relationship or if it's a dealbreaker for you.
Remember that financial dynamics in relationships can be complex and vary widely depending on individual circumstances and cultural norms. What's crucial is open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through challenges together. If both of you are committed to understanding each other's perspectives and finding common ground, you may be able to resolve this issue and strengthen your relationship.