It's not uncommon for some individuals to have conflicting emotions after leaving an abusive relationship, even if their ex-partner displayed sociopathic or manipulative behaviors. This phenomenon is often referred to as "trauma bonding" or "Stockholm syndrome."
Trauma bonding occurs when a victim becomes emotionally attached to their abuser due to the intense and unpredictable nature of the relationship. Abusers may alternate between moments of kindness and affection and periods of abuse and manipulation. This rollercoaster of emotions can create a strong attachment, making it difficult for the victim to break away from the relationship, even after leaving.
Additionally, abusers may use tactics like gaslighting to make their victims doubt their own perceptions and judgment. They might make the victim believe that they are solely responsible for the abuse and that the abuser truly cares about them, further reinforcing the emotional bond.
So, yes, it's normal to have conflicting feelings or miss an abusive ex-partner, especially if the relationship was emotionally intense. However, it's crucial to recognize that these feelings are part of the trauma bonding and not a genuine indication of love or a healthy relationship.
If you find yourself missing your ex despite the abuse, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abusive relationships. They can help you understand your emotions, work through the trauma bonding, and develop healthier coping mechanisms to move forward with your life. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and family can also be beneficial during this challenging time. Remember, your well-being and safety are paramount, and seeking help is an important step towards healing and breaking free from the cycle of abuse.